Split by Pain
Something begins to fall apart inside of me, I can feel it coming.
A couple of weeks after noticing that I experience the most brutal, relentless, headaches. A knife was shoved into my left eye and it wasn't coming out. They come in waves, getting more and more frequent as the days go by.
It’s 4AM and I am in serious pain, tried everything, nothing even makes a dent, and for the first time in my life I go to the hospital.
Hours of waiting and tests and I get told by a Neurologist what I am experiencing is called “Cluster Headaches” , he’s not very friendly and doesn't explain anything. I’m given a med and sent home. I’m exhausted.
After some sleep I open up Google and type in that diagnosis,
I read and begin to cry. Wow, that’s what I’m gonna live with from now on?
Fear, bargaining with the universe, doubt... everything is moving very fast but also slowed down to a halt.
For more than a month I suffered intense pain, stuck at home, at least the meds worked.
An urge to meditate appears, I just sit and breath, I have no idea what I’m doing.
Thank you Source, for kicking my butt. I needed that.